As all things here seem to be, today is extremely emotional for me. I am surrounded by good friends on this day of mine but I am missing the family that birthed, raised, and saw all of my past 19 birthdays.
Part 1:
I worked today and had an awful work day. The only part that was even manageable was when my friends would come periodically on their time off to wish me the best. I did the work of myself and 2 people who didn't come to work. This would have been hard but alright except that when I would juggle them and switch between my work (most important) and the others people would yell at me for not doing the work of the others... so I would switch to that and get yelled at by someone else for not doing my job. I ended up leaving upset and exhausted. I am now sitting in the sun writing just being as calm as I can be. Knowing I am not going back to work no matter what tomorrow, even when they need me. Oh yeah also my closest family at work all forgot it was my birthday. Everyone but my co-worker who does the same thing as me that I trained and teach english to.
I look back from this day to last year's festivities on this day. I worked and then with Kim walked to meet all my friends at the Standard (then Hooligan's). All I could think about was love. I drank a glass of Vodka Noah tricked me into and had a great time. I walked Kim home in the middle of the party so she could see Matt. I returned and don't remember much until the walk home.
Tonight I am going to Ramat Hashofet for the first time in 3 weeks. I plan on drinking whiskey with my friends and dancing my heart out. I am curious as to certain factors of the night like which soldiers will be able to come home tonight. We shall see.
Part 2:
The festivities kicked off with the volunteers presenting our Purim presentation for the organizers. We would be showing it to hundreds of people the next night. I took 3 shots of Arak to prepare myself for what I saw as impending doom. The "skit" we were preforming was a little provocative to say the least (I will try to find a copy to show you all). We preformed it a little tipsy and had a blast. Half the small judging audience stood while clapping while the other half covered their mouthes in horror (as I expected).
As we walked off stage I yelled out "Lets get drunk" and we began my birthday party. We marched upstairs only to find a Parve (Parve is chocolate without dairy so that you can eat it with meat and keep kosher" cake with candles. Being volunteers we don't have cutlery or plates easily available (I have a stock in my house) so the obvious decision was to eat with our hands. I served the cake to everyone and took a "slice" to my self. Before I knew it one of the pieces I had handed out was pressed against my face. That is when it began. Before I could count to 10 everyone around me was covering each other in cake. It was glorious! After mass showering we began listening to music and drinking. A lot more arak was consumed as well as whiskey and vodka. At 11:50 we stumbled towards the bus stop to go to Ramat-Hashofet. I climbed on and sat with one of the girl soldiers to talk about my love life and the past weeks events. Upon arrival the 20-30 of us climbed off the bus only to notice it was Ramat-Hashofet's Purim (costumed holiday) party. We were the only ones without crazy garb. Oh well. We danced the night away, had a lot of talking, and drank more arak.
As the night wore on and the tireless dancing continued, our bus arrived to take us home from this glorious night. With love in my heart and music in my head I got on the bus and sat down beside Avital. Avital and I listened to music we both loved and held hands on the way back. We walked each other upstairs once the bus arrived and said our good nights twice. I continued walking to my house where I happily rid myself of my clothes and landed in a content sleep.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Updates: Life and ...
I have been away from home for 4 months and one day. Since then a few things have changed that I thought you should all know... somethings are still changing and I am thinking about heavily before I choose but here it goes:
1: Daniel can grow facial hair! After 19 years of pushing those face muscles to the max they have finally forced out fair onto my face. Yes I have to shave daily or bi-daily now... I looked forward to the day so extremely now I hate it!
2: Daniel weighs over 130 pounds! Yes people I know I know... I finally reached the benchmark of 61 kilos I always wanted and dreaded at the same time. Am I bigger? Not at all, but I can cary alot more ;)
3: When leaving I planned to remove alot of the hair from on top of my head. Seeing as I was moving to a new country and alot of changes were occurring I decided to leave it as the one thing I would have that was the old me. Now after an extra 4 months of growth my hair is almost down to my nipples. I can't bring myself to let someone who doesn't speak english take control of my head and cut it the way I want.
4: Language. During the first month here I think I learned absolutely 0 Hebrew. Now that I live on Kibbutz with 900 / 1100 people speaking little to know english I have been forced (not so bad) to speak Hebrew more regularly. I learn a new word a day and I have an alright vocabulary. My sentence structure is awful still because each word has a boy and girl version and their are different words when asking and saying things. I am happy with my progress and am now thinking about how not to loose it when I get home.
1: Daniel can grow facial hair! After 19 years of pushing those face muscles to the max they have finally forced out fair onto my face. Yes I have to shave daily or bi-daily now... I looked forward to the day so extremely now I hate it!
2: Daniel weighs over 130 pounds! Yes people I know I know... I finally reached the benchmark of 61 kilos I always wanted and dreaded at the same time. Am I bigger? Not at all, but I can cary alot more ;)
3: When leaving I planned to remove alot of the hair from on top of my head. Seeing as I was moving to a new country and alot of changes were occurring I decided to leave it as the one thing I would have that was the old me. Now after an extra 4 months of growth my hair is almost down to my nipples. I can't bring myself to let someone who doesn't speak english take control of my head and cut it the way I want.
4: Language. During the first month here I think I learned absolutely 0 Hebrew. Now that I live on Kibbutz with 900 / 1100 people speaking little to know english I have been forced (not so bad) to speak Hebrew more regularly. I learn a new word a day and I have an alright vocabulary. My sentence structure is awful still because each word has a boy and girl version and their are different words when asking and saying things. I am happy with my progress and am now thinking about how not to loose it when I get home.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Interesting Points - Israel
Just some strange things from Israel I want to remember and share with you all.
Soldier Life:
Joining the army is mandatory in Israel. It is as much a part of growing up as school is to us in Canada and you plan your life accordingly.
People here join as early as the September after summer holidays from grade 12. This makes for a different mentality in teens and young adults. I find that people aged 21 - 25 (Army is 2 -3 years) are more mature then most in Canada. This may be due to what they have had to see and go through, but also the life style of being told what to do and being expected to follow orders to a tee.
Their are two kinds of soldiers here also. Israeli citizens who are required to serve, and people wishing to make Aliyah (becoming citizens through Israel's right of return policy).
I have had only short interactions with Israeli soldiers who are not originally from another country, so I will talk mostly about people making Aliyah.
On Hazore'a we have a group of soldiers living here on weekends when they are off base. They come here to a comfy bed, warm meals, and a support network. They also come to release all of their stress by getting black out drunk and partying for 3 days straight.
Soldier Rules (OK'd by the guys who live here) :
1. Give them booze
2. Be easy (sleep with them)
3. Don't bother offering a cigarette if it is not a Camel
4. Carry them to and from the bar
5. Don't fall in love with them
This list was meant to be a mockery of the lifestyle of the soldiers here but as I talk to more people and say it over and over again I find it more and more true. This doesn't go for all soldiers here, but for the most part its the life we live.
Cats:
There are three kinds of cats in Israel. Pet cats, Tame cats, and Dumpster cats. All of these "breeds" of cats are the same species and look identical (except the puss under the dumpster cats eyes) but are completely different animals by behavior.
Rus a hired worker here owns the only pet cat I have ever seen in Israel. The cat is well behaved, fed regularly, and doesn't try to kill you. The cat's name is Kss Kss (spelled phonetically) and is an orange tabby.
The second most common cat is the tame cat. There are a few of these felines around Tel-Aviv and one or two here on Hazore'a. These cats are fed by people who will never admit to it, look fairly clean, and will sit beside you on a couch outside. The volunteers here have a tame cat that lives up in our neighborhood named Hatoolito (Hatool is hebrew for cat and adding ito in spanish makes it a small cat). This cat is a year old and the size of a kitten, it has white and black spots on it and is very cuddly.
The third and most common breed of cat here is the dumpster cat. Really I think it is a stretch to even call them cats at all. They are dirty and are usually missing parts like tails and ears. These mangy things hate people and are commonly used as diet supplements for dogs. They live in allies and dumpsters (hence the name) and you can hear them following you at night if you are walking with food in a bag or your hand. Often times people here will kill them like people do rats or mice that invade your kitchen at home. I feel bad for them sometimes, then they try to shred my face while I am taking out the garbage.
Life:
Life here is simple. You work Sunday through Thursday (Friday if you are me) and party Thursday and Friday nights. Saturday is recovery and coincidentally Shabbat the day of rest.
When you start your week work is manageable and sometimes even fun. You are rested and well fed. As the week wears on your body becomes weak and your mind wonders from the tasks at hand.
What do I do you ask? Well right now I am the man to talk to when you need vegetables. I sell all the fruits and vegetables to the people who live here, receive shipments, and drink coffee. This is difficult with a language barrier but each day it becomes easier to get my points across and help people. I work fridays because people need to get all their produce before we close for Shabbat which starts at sun down that day and ends the next day at sun down. This job however is not permanent. I do this job for now because I am good at it (I talk all day) and I am the only one who can a. manage it or b. is trained to do it.
Any day now 200 baby goats will be born and I will be moved to feeding and caring for them. I cannot wait!
The weekends here are like this. Thursday you start drinking after supper and then go the bar to dance from 11ish to 4am. Friday night more people are free and the parties are wilder. You start drinking whenever you want 4pm at the earliest seems to be the norm and you drink all night until you go to the bar at 1 when it is packed. You dance again until the sun is almost up. The weekends revolve around dancing.
I find that if I miss a night of dancing either friday or thursday I have to much energy in my system during the week and I get distracted and fidgety. Dancing is how we release our stress and sometimes create new stress ;).
I have found during my stay here that dancing is a huge part of how I express myself and have fun... I love it more then anything else! That being said I was crowned king of the dance floor for Friday January 8th 2010! Cool!
Emotions:
My emotions have settled down a huge amount since I last told you all about them. The times in which I think about all the past drama have become few and far between. On New Years I stopped wearing a piece of jewelry that was a constant reminder.
Also since then I have found myself attracted to a handful of people, and maybe had a crush or two. I am back to the old me. Old me meaning I have drama up the ying-yang with a soldier (but its still beautiful).
Soldier Life:
Joining the army is mandatory in Israel. It is as much a part of growing up as school is to us in Canada and you plan your life accordingly.
People here join as early as the September after summer holidays from grade 12. This makes for a different mentality in teens and young adults. I find that people aged 21 - 25 (Army is 2 -3 years) are more mature then most in Canada. This may be due to what they have had to see and go through, but also the life style of being told what to do and being expected to follow orders to a tee.
Their are two kinds of soldiers here also. Israeli citizens who are required to serve, and people wishing to make Aliyah (becoming citizens through Israel's right of return policy).
I have had only short interactions with Israeli soldiers who are not originally from another country, so I will talk mostly about people making Aliyah.
On Hazore'a we have a group of soldiers living here on weekends when they are off base. They come here to a comfy bed, warm meals, and a support network. They also come to release all of their stress by getting black out drunk and partying for 3 days straight.
Soldier Rules (OK'd by the guys who live here) :
1. Give them booze
2. Be easy (sleep with them)
3. Don't bother offering a cigarette if it is not a Camel
4. Carry them to and from the bar
5. Don't fall in love with them
This list was meant to be a mockery of the lifestyle of the soldiers here but as I talk to more people and say it over and over again I find it more and more true. This doesn't go for all soldiers here, but for the most part its the life we live.
Cats:
There are three kinds of cats in Israel. Pet cats, Tame cats, and Dumpster cats. All of these "breeds" of cats are the same species and look identical (except the puss under the dumpster cats eyes) but are completely different animals by behavior.
Rus a hired worker here owns the only pet cat I have ever seen in Israel. The cat is well behaved, fed regularly, and doesn't try to kill you. The cat's name is Kss Kss (spelled phonetically) and is an orange tabby.
The second most common cat is the tame cat. There are a few of these felines around Tel-Aviv and one or two here on Hazore'a. These cats are fed by people who will never admit to it, look fairly clean, and will sit beside you on a couch outside. The volunteers here have a tame cat that lives up in our neighborhood named Hatoolito (Hatool is hebrew for cat and adding ito in spanish makes it a small cat). This cat is a year old and the size of a kitten, it has white and black spots on it and is very cuddly.
The third and most common breed of cat here is the dumpster cat. Really I think it is a stretch to even call them cats at all. They are dirty and are usually missing parts like tails and ears. These mangy things hate people and are commonly used as diet supplements for dogs. They live in allies and dumpsters (hence the name) and you can hear them following you at night if you are walking with food in a bag or your hand. Often times people here will kill them like people do rats or mice that invade your kitchen at home. I feel bad for them sometimes, then they try to shred my face while I am taking out the garbage.
Life:
Life here is simple. You work Sunday through Thursday (Friday if you are me) and party Thursday and Friday nights. Saturday is recovery and coincidentally Shabbat the day of rest.
When you start your week work is manageable and sometimes even fun. You are rested and well fed. As the week wears on your body becomes weak and your mind wonders from the tasks at hand.
What do I do you ask? Well right now I am the man to talk to when you need vegetables. I sell all the fruits and vegetables to the people who live here, receive shipments, and drink coffee. This is difficult with a language barrier but each day it becomes easier to get my points across and help people. I work fridays because people need to get all their produce before we close for Shabbat which starts at sun down that day and ends the next day at sun down. This job however is not permanent. I do this job for now because I am good at it (I talk all day) and I am the only one who can a. manage it or b. is trained to do it.
Any day now 200 baby goats will be born and I will be moved to feeding and caring for them. I cannot wait!
The weekends here are like this. Thursday you start drinking after supper and then go the bar to dance from 11ish to 4am. Friday night more people are free and the parties are wilder. You start drinking whenever you want 4pm at the earliest seems to be the norm and you drink all night until you go to the bar at 1 when it is packed. You dance again until the sun is almost up. The weekends revolve around dancing.
I find that if I miss a night of dancing either friday or thursday I have to much energy in my system during the week and I get distracted and fidgety. Dancing is how we release our stress and sometimes create new stress ;).
I have found during my stay here that dancing is a huge part of how I express myself and have fun... I love it more then anything else! That being said I was crowned king of the dance floor for Friday January 8th 2010! Cool!
Emotions:
My emotions have settled down a huge amount since I last told you all about them. The times in which I think about all the past drama have become few and far between. On New Years I stopped wearing a piece of jewelry that was a constant reminder.
Also since then I have found myself attracted to a handful of people, and maybe had a crush or two. I am back to the old me. Old me meaning I have drama up the ying-yang with a soldier (but its still beautiful).
Friday, December 4, 2009
Traveling Emotions
I am having so much trouble writing about my travels and adventures in Tel Aviv and Siani I thought I would take a break and write about how I feel. Something that has always come naturally to me.
During this trip I have felt every emotion possible. Not only every emotion but also a range of intensity as well. As most of you know, one of my reasons for leaving my home for Israel is to heal... so naturally emotions are going to be felt.
The emotional blast started while leaving Winnipeg and realizing how much people there (and in surrounding areas aka St. Malo) mean to me. People looking at me while I said goodbye could make me cry. People I saw everyday and was so used to having were about to disappear from my life for a good while. It was hard.
After this my emotions took a mellow side as I eased into the seat of the van and the easy life in Montreal. Other then the tears of panic while crashing a car I was solidly a-ok.
This melodic stage in my development didn't last long. I entered Toronto, a new place for me and began to feel more alone. The first night there I decided to leave the party because of pure exhaustion and go to sleep in the van. This was the first time I had been truly alone in a long time. I while getting ready for bed checked my email, facebook and the blogs I subscribe to. Being alone I was already a little sensitive as I have never dealt well with a lack of people. One such blog had a new post, much like this about reasons for travel and emotions. I read it over and over in the pitch dark of the van and began to cry.
I am not scared to say that I cry often. I do, but during this occasion I don't even feel I can call it crying. My body convulsed, my soul ached, and every inch of me hurt. I was shattered... For the first time I realized something that I didn't let myself think while around so many people. I am heartbroken. This blog letter wasn't so shocking but at the time it felt as if it was a direct attack on everything I felt, everything I have worked for and everything I believe. I reached out in my blindness for someone to talk to, but as I had left everyone at the party and I was in a new place there was not one person who could calm me, hold me, love me. With this extremely apparent I just hurt more. Eventually I turned to one person who I know I can always count on to love me, and to take care of me. My sister. It must have been the middle of the night and I called her long distance balling my eyes out. Not able to form sentences I talked with her about all I felt and she listened. Just listening was all I needed and could have asked for. She saved me. Darcy and I talked the day after and often after this and I healed more and more.
After this night I was pretty fragile for the rest of the week, but as time wore on I got a grip on myself and love life.
I arrived in Tel Aviv a little terrified of the future here but not too scared. My emotions were reflecting that fully. After a week or two of living here life through me another challenge I would need to face. I found that every time I got into a situation related to romance or loving emotion I would start to cry. Whether it be a movie or a talk about my past... anything.
I found that almost everything in Israel as a traveller was here for the same reason. To heal. Talking with these people made me think a lot about the healing I need to do but also with talks came questions that I didn't have or wasn't ready to answer.
One night here was more emotional then all others. I crawled into bed after spending a great night out only to find that sleep wasn't in my reach. I tossed and turned and my mind began to race. In the past when I get like this I breath slowly and talk it out pretending that someone important to me is lying beside me. I started to do this quietly and my mind took off. The person I had imagined was the person I needed to talk about. I started off by asking myself what was wrong and how I could help... after deciding this I began to tell this person the story of my love for her. I started at the beginning and as soon as I actually heard myself I began to weep. I wasn't sure what to do now as I needed to do this, but it hurt so much. I decided to continue. I told this person every detail and conversation I could remember from start until up to the point in the van in Toronto. I looked at my watch after this feeling raw and exhausted. I had passed the entire night remembering and letting go.
After this experience everything seemed different. I was still me, I hadn't forgot about anything, something had changed.
About a week after this conversation with myself, god, and her I met someone who swept me off my feet and melted my heart. She was the first person I had met while traveling that I felt knew my heart. We spent a lot of time together living in the hostel and experiencing Tel Aviv. A few days after this I found out I was to be on at Hazore'a 3 days later. We spent even more time together. Two nights before my departure to a new adventure I asked her if she would like to have supper with me the next day. She accepted and I was overjoyed. I spent hours and hours brushing my hair and changing my clothes and fussing about. This was the first time since May or earlier that I had felt anything close to this for someone other then Kim. That realization elated me and brought warmth about me. Supper was amazing and enjoyed her company so much! after supper she sang to me songs that she had written and I behind teary eyes listened intently realizing she would be going home before I would have a chance to get back to Tel Aviv.
I wished her goodnight and we made plans to have coffee in the morning before she worked and I left for Hazore'a. As she went to bed I began to write a letter I would give her after our goodbye telling her everything I have just told you. That she understood me, that she was the first in a long time, and that I would miss her immensely.
I woke up and we shared a cup of coffee and talked about my next step. We walked to the door when it was time for her to start her journey to work and I said goodbye. We hugged a real hug. I said goodbye again and she walked to the door. I looked at my shoes then at the staff behind the desk at the hostel and he gave me a sad look. Just then she came back and hugged me again then left. As I began to walk away from the door the hostel guy told me I looked sad. I was.
I left shortly after this for my Kibbutz and my mind was filled with too much worry and excitement to think about anything else. Hazore'a hasn't been a place of emotional intensity, which is a nice break. I am at peace there.
After my first week there I found out I would be changing jobs. That was fine with me, but it also meant 2 days off. I could go to Tel Aviv and see Emelie (the girl I crushed on) one more time before she left. This news excited me because I didn't know how my letter had faired to her and I didn't know in the first place how she felt.
After finishing the duties I needed to fill at Hazore'a I grabbed a ride to the bus station and flew off to Tel Aviv. When I arrived home people began to tell me about all the news I had missed in the short week I was away. Emelie had moved in with one of the Hostel staff (the one who watched us say goodbye) and was not staying here anymore. Well my intent to surprise her and say hello turned into me being surprised.
I facebooked her to let her know I was in Tel Aviv, not knowing how else to communicate with her. Shortly after she replied that she would come visit after work. I talked with my old friends and ate and within a short time she arrived. I was happy as ever to see her, regardless of the news i had received. She told me she had lots of news for me. New I already knew.
We went out for a drink and talked about her weeks adventures. I was so happy for her, but a little sad. As she began to yawn she decided it was time to head home to bed. I walked her down the street and then it was time to say goodbye again. Saying it once to someone is hard enough.
I hugged her close to myself and whispered goodbye in her ear. She thanked me for the letter and said I was a great person. She and I parted and she left for home, I went into the hostel. Things didn't work out as I had imagined, but they were beautiful. She was so happy and free. And she had freed me as well.
During this trip I have felt every emotion possible. Not only every emotion but also a range of intensity as well. As most of you know, one of my reasons for leaving my home for Israel is to heal... so naturally emotions are going to be felt.
The emotional blast started while leaving Winnipeg and realizing how much people there (and in surrounding areas aka St. Malo) mean to me. People looking at me while I said goodbye could make me cry. People I saw everyday and was so used to having were about to disappear from my life for a good while. It was hard.
After this my emotions took a mellow side as I eased into the seat of the van and the easy life in Montreal. Other then the tears of panic while crashing a car I was solidly a-ok.
This melodic stage in my development didn't last long. I entered Toronto, a new place for me and began to feel more alone. The first night there I decided to leave the party because of pure exhaustion and go to sleep in the van. This was the first time I had been truly alone in a long time. I while getting ready for bed checked my email, facebook and the blogs I subscribe to. Being alone I was already a little sensitive as I have never dealt well with a lack of people. One such blog had a new post, much like this about reasons for travel and emotions. I read it over and over in the pitch dark of the van and began to cry.
I am not scared to say that I cry often. I do, but during this occasion I don't even feel I can call it crying. My body convulsed, my soul ached, and every inch of me hurt. I was shattered... For the first time I realized something that I didn't let myself think while around so many people. I am heartbroken. This blog letter wasn't so shocking but at the time it felt as if it was a direct attack on everything I felt, everything I have worked for and everything I believe. I reached out in my blindness for someone to talk to, but as I had left everyone at the party and I was in a new place there was not one person who could calm me, hold me, love me. With this extremely apparent I just hurt more. Eventually I turned to one person who I know I can always count on to love me, and to take care of me. My sister. It must have been the middle of the night and I called her long distance balling my eyes out. Not able to form sentences I talked with her about all I felt and she listened. Just listening was all I needed and could have asked for. She saved me. Darcy and I talked the day after and often after this and I healed more and more.
After this night I was pretty fragile for the rest of the week, but as time wore on I got a grip on myself and love life.
I arrived in Tel Aviv a little terrified of the future here but not too scared. My emotions were reflecting that fully. After a week or two of living here life through me another challenge I would need to face. I found that every time I got into a situation related to romance or loving emotion I would start to cry. Whether it be a movie or a talk about my past... anything.
I found that almost everything in Israel as a traveller was here for the same reason. To heal. Talking with these people made me think a lot about the healing I need to do but also with talks came questions that I didn't have or wasn't ready to answer.
One night here was more emotional then all others. I crawled into bed after spending a great night out only to find that sleep wasn't in my reach. I tossed and turned and my mind began to race. In the past when I get like this I breath slowly and talk it out pretending that someone important to me is lying beside me. I started to do this quietly and my mind took off. The person I had imagined was the person I needed to talk about. I started off by asking myself what was wrong and how I could help... after deciding this I began to tell this person the story of my love for her. I started at the beginning and as soon as I actually heard myself I began to weep. I wasn't sure what to do now as I needed to do this, but it hurt so much. I decided to continue. I told this person every detail and conversation I could remember from start until up to the point in the van in Toronto. I looked at my watch after this feeling raw and exhausted. I had passed the entire night remembering and letting go.
After this experience everything seemed different. I was still me, I hadn't forgot about anything, something had changed.
About a week after this conversation with myself, god, and her I met someone who swept me off my feet and melted my heart. She was the first person I had met while traveling that I felt knew my heart. We spent a lot of time together living in the hostel and experiencing Tel Aviv. A few days after this I found out I was to be on at Hazore'a 3 days later. We spent even more time together. Two nights before my departure to a new adventure I asked her if she would like to have supper with me the next day. She accepted and I was overjoyed. I spent hours and hours brushing my hair and changing my clothes and fussing about. This was the first time since May or earlier that I had felt anything close to this for someone other then Kim. That realization elated me and brought warmth about me. Supper was amazing and enjoyed her company so much! after supper she sang to me songs that she had written and I behind teary eyes listened intently realizing she would be going home before I would have a chance to get back to Tel Aviv.
I wished her goodnight and we made plans to have coffee in the morning before she worked and I left for Hazore'a. As she went to bed I began to write a letter I would give her after our goodbye telling her everything I have just told you. That she understood me, that she was the first in a long time, and that I would miss her immensely.
I woke up and we shared a cup of coffee and talked about my next step. We walked to the door when it was time for her to start her journey to work and I said goodbye. We hugged a real hug. I said goodbye again and she walked to the door. I looked at my shoes then at the staff behind the desk at the hostel and he gave me a sad look. Just then she came back and hugged me again then left. As I began to walk away from the door the hostel guy told me I looked sad. I was.
I left shortly after this for my Kibbutz and my mind was filled with too much worry and excitement to think about anything else. Hazore'a hasn't been a place of emotional intensity, which is a nice break. I am at peace there.
After my first week there I found out I would be changing jobs. That was fine with me, but it also meant 2 days off. I could go to Tel Aviv and see Emelie (the girl I crushed on) one more time before she left. This news excited me because I didn't know how my letter had faired to her and I didn't know in the first place how she felt.
After finishing the duties I needed to fill at Hazore'a I grabbed a ride to the bus station and flew off to Tel Aviv. When I arrived home people began to tell me about all the news I had missed in the short week I was away. Emelie had moved in with one of the Hostel staff (the one who watched us say goodbye) and was not staying here anymore. Well my intent to surprise her and say hello turned into me being surprised.
I facebooked her to let her know I was in Tel Aviv, not knowing how else to communicate with her. Shortly after she replied that she would come visit after work. I talked with my old friends and ate and within a short time she arrived. I was happy as ever to see her, regardless of the news i had received. She told me she had lots of news for me. New I already knew.
We went out for a drink and talked about her weeks adventures. I was so happy for her, but a little sad. As she began to yawn she decided it was time to head home to bed. I walked her down the street and then it was time to say goodbye again. Saying it once to someone is hard enough.
I hugged her close to myself and whispered goodbye in her ear. She thanked me for the letter and said I was a great person. She and I parted and she left for home, I went into the hostel. Things didn't work out as I had imagined, but they were beautiful. She was so happy and free. And she had freed me as well.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Toronto: Breaking Down / Never Coming Back
Key: * then a number means I will explain who the person is in a new paragraph matching the number.
Episode 2: Toronto:
I officially hate Toronto. It is dirty, for the most part ugly, and the people are not that nice either (but of course there are exceptions).
I almost have nothing to write about except the few people I met and will remember always. The three things that stick out to me other then those lovely individuals are Queen street West, Kensington Market, and The Cherry Bomb. Queen and Kensington both have their own charm and nifty shops. Queen has the Much Music headquarters where they shoot all their programming, tons of head shops selling the same paraphernalia and pipes and a million people not looking where they are walking. Kensington Market on the other hand, is very earthy and hippy like. The coffee is great, the people bike everywhere, and you can buy used clothes from 100 shops.
The Cherry Bomb is a cafe on roncesvalles in Toronto and has the best coffee that I have ever experiences to this day (November 8th 2009). The owners John and Sarah*1 are extremely friendly, and warmed our hearts with their coffee and hospitality. Their store is very minimalist and caters almost entirely to take out
customers who just want an amazing coffee on their way to work. They offer 8 different kinds of coffee for a too reasonable price.
*1 - John and Sarah are the owners of the Cherry Bomb, and where some of the most giving and loving people we found in Toronto.
The people I would like to share with you are not so much connected to adventures as the ones in Montreal were, I think this is because they were with us almost everyday for our daily routine.
Nathan Krahn - Nathan is from Niverville originally but I know him mainly from his time living in Winnipeg. He is a warmhearted free spirited musician who happened to land in Toronto looking for work during a time of backpacking. His lack of job finding was completely due I am sure to the fact that his love is still in his heart and not beamed away by the CN tower.
Darien - Darien is one of Darcy's friends from his past life as a Torontonian. They met in highschool and magically kept their connections through Darcy moving away. Darien is one of the most giving and warm people I met in Toronto or maybe of all time. He lived extremely close to our camping spot so we spent a lot of time with him.
I know there are millions more people to talk mention but Toronto was such a shit hole I don't want to write about it any longer.
Episode 2: Toronto:
I officially hate Toronto. It is dirty, for the most part ugly, and the people are not that nice either (but of course there are exceptions).
I almost have nothing to write about except the few people I met and will remember always. The three things that stick out to me other then those lovely individuals are Queen street West, Kensington Market, and The Cherry Bomb. Queen and Kensington both have their own charm and nifty shops. Queen has the Much Music headquarters where they shoot all their programming, tons of head shops selling the same paraphernalia and pipes and a million people not looking where they are walking. Kensington Market on the other hand, is very earthy and hippy like. The coffee is great, the people bike everywhere, and you can buy used clothes from 100 shops.
The Cherry Bomb is a cafe on roncesvalles in Toronto and has the best coffee that I have ever experiences to this day (November 8th 2009). The owners John and Sarah*1 are extremely friendly, and warmed our hearts with their coffee and hospitality. Their store is very minimalist and caters almost entirely to take out
customers who just want an amazing coffee on their way to work. They offer 8 different kinds of coffee for a too reasonable price.
*1 - John and Sarah are the owners of the Cherry Bomb, and where some of the most giving and loving people we found in Toronto.
The people I would like to share with you are not so much connected to adventures as the ones in Montreal were, I think this is because they were with us almost everyday for our daily routine.
Nathan Krahn - Nathan is from Niverville originally but I know him mainly from his time living in Winnipeg. He is a warmhearted free spirited musician who happened to land in Toronto looking for work during a time of backpacking. His lack of job finding was completely due I am sure to the fact that his love is still in his heart and not beamed away by the CN tower.
Darien - Darien is one of Darcy's friends from his past life as a Torontonian. They met in highschool and magically kept their connections through Darcy moving away. Darien is one of the most giving and warm people I met in Toronto or maybe of all time. He lived extremely close to our camping spot so we spent a lot of time with him.
I know there are millions more people to talk mention but Toronto was such a shit hole I don't want to write about it any longer.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Montreal: Emotional Revolution / Hitting The Ditch
~ So I have decided the best way for me to let everyone know about my adventures in the far off lands is to make an online journal of sorts. Each post will be about a particular adventure or a place of interest. ~
Key: * then a number means I will explain who the person is in a new paragraph matching the number.
Episode 1: Montreal :
First off I would like to ask you all to bare with me. It is 8 in the morning and I'm only on my second coffee. Thanks.
Darcy and I after much preparations left Winnipeg at about 6 pm to start our travels. With us we had a car full of supplies, enough cigarettes to last approximately a full day of driving, and another passenger. This extra passenger was named Althea (Alth-Aye-Ah). She is a friend of Liz (who is Darcy's neighbor) and she needed a ride to Montreal. Perfect! Company, less gas costs, and a warmer sleeping environment.
So off we went with 3 people and a shit load of baggage. Emotional and luggage. We / Darcy drove all night past the ever so beautiful Whiteshell and into the abyss commonly called Ontario. We stopped our nights endless highways at 7 in the morning, an hour outside of Thunder Bay at this beautiful lake and reserve town. We cracked our case of Manitoba's Standard Ale that was strapped to the roof of the Van during the driving. I realized once this case was empty I wouldn't taste that sweet Winnipeg flavor for along time to come. Once half the case was being digested we began to crawl into bed. I don't know how many of you have been in a VW Vanagon Camper, but with two 6'2" + guys and a shorter girl in between, sleeping is an aerobic activity, not a luxury.
We awoke the next morning at about 11 am. After coffee-ing up and getting some Diesel, we were off. Darcy soloed for 7 or so hours until it was dust and he needed a break. Seeing as Althea doesn't have a license or know how to drive I was selected to fill the drivers seat. Now driving isn't my least favourite thing to do, but I would rather have a bike in between my legs. I shifted into first and progressed in speed and gears until I was going 90-100 kmph. I drove for approximately an hour before the anxiety of Semi after Semi blowing me across the highway took hold. I asked Darcy if he could resume driving and he said pull over as soon as you have a chance. Minutes of tension and fighting the wind passed and a place to stop had still not been discovered. Suddenly the wind stopped its torrential battering of the van while I unknowingly continued to correct my steering for it. I began to drift towards the shoulder. This patch of northern highway was salted rather then plowed thus the highway was clear but this shoulder had 4-6 inches of snow along it. As soon as my front right wheel caressed this build-up control was ripped from me.
Now I'm not sure if you have ever crashed a car, but the feeling is like no other. Most people talk of seeing life and death mesh, and flash before their eyes. I would say that time stops, then resumes at an extremely slow pace.
Anywho as I realized I couldn't do anything to fix this situation the back right wheel hit the snow slathered gravel and the back of the car spun around as if it was swinging for a home run. I still gripping the wheel pulled with all my 120 pounds of might to steer away from the impending doom. this furthered the backward spiral of the car. At this time all wheels were past the shoulder and we were in the ditch slowing down rapidly. I jammed on the breaks and stalled the car, halting us instantly and the front left lifted up and up and up and... set back down in place. The only thing I remember happening other then this was the sounds of gravel spitting up, Darcy repeating "Shit, Shit, Daniel, Shit" and the sound of everything in the van flying across the air and hitting the opposite wall.
Everyone was alright, the car was fine, and within seconds 4 cars pulled over to help. A big truck towed us out and we were on our way faster then a pit stop to Tim's for coffee and a washroom break. Needless to say, Darcy resumed driving and I sat in the back shaken and upset.
As the night set in, and the sky grew dark we neared the Quebec border. At about 10 pm Darcy noticed a grouping of red lights a little further up on the highway. Slowing down we approached them. As we closed the distance we realized these were cops. They asked us to pull over for some questions. Darcy unrolled his window, I buckled up, and we prepped for the worst. The cop asked questions and explained that this was a riot check to find illegal hunting. So his questions began as follows.
"Do you have any firearms in this vehicle?" "No"
"Do you have any wildlife or livestock?" "No"
"Open liquor?" "No"
"Is the guy in the back wearing a seatbelt?" "Yes"
As these questions were answered to the officer's liking he noticed the half case of beer on the roof. He asked Darcy to move it into the trunk because it was unsecured and in the reach of the driver. Little did he know that it didn't even shift during my accident. Darcy moved it and we looked around. Eight OPP officers were looking at the van with flashlights. We were given the alright, and we drove away again shaken. Hours later we entered Quebec and camped for the night. The beer was finished supper was made, and sleep ensued.
Halfway through the next day we were in Montreal. Now Montreal is one of my favourite places that I have discovered thus far in my life's journeys. I was glad to arrive. Dropping off Althea we found a place to park our Van / House outside her apartment in the parking-lot of a record label. We were introduced to Chris(*1) and Will(*2).
*1 - Chris is a very beautiful man from Newfoundland who was looking after Althea's place while she was away. He works 20 days on and 10 off in Fort McMurray driving truck for oil rigs. His accent is amazing! The whole three months Althea was away he didn't use one dish, they had dust on them. In 3 months of living there he was there 30 days, and he ate out every one... Different life style.
*2 - Will is amazing! I have never met anyone like him. He is extremely open with his diverse sexuality. He is a starving artist from Halifax, who lives in both cities. He writes and photographs for newspapers and such, but his passion is photography. We got to spend a lot of time together, exploring the village and our pasts. I feel I have a lot in common with him. His age is unknown to me, but I know he remembers things from the 60's. I actually got to do a model photo shoot with him on Halloween.
After meeting these people We slept off our travels. This time it was 2 people in the bed. Much more manageable. Including our arrival day we spent from Monday - Sunday in Montreal. During this time Darcy and I met a lot of amazing people and pets, and had some wicked adventures.
The first adventure was meeting Polish Peter*3 (Piotr) and Althea's dog Alaska*4 who was staying with Peter. It was a simple day of drinking but a wonderful time none the less. La Fin Du Monde, Éphémère, and Polish Vodka.
La Fin Du Monde (The End of the World) and Éphémère (apple beer meaning: lasting shortly) are a product of Unibroue. A micro-brewery in Montreal. Check there amazing products out at your Local LC if available or at (http://www.unibroue.com/english.cfm).
*3 - Peter. Peter is a carpenter from Poland who now lives in Montreal. He is in his 20s and loves to Party. He is also extremely romantic. My favourite! He took care of Alaska while Althea was away and was reluctant to return her. He does Drag for parties, has a spout of blonde long hair on top of his shaved head, and is a great listener. Like most people I met in Montreal he loves his drugs, but he is still a good person.
He taught me one word in Polish and that is "laska". Laska translated means walking cane, but its common usage is as slang to mean beautiful woman.
*4 - Alaska is Althea's beautiful golden dog. She is curb trained and extremely well behaved. Curb training consists of stopping at red lights, and all intersections off leash, following you closely off leash, and waiting outside stored sitting off leash. AMAZING.
Our next adventure was one of meeting Tobin*5 and and Epic*6, and getting coffee at his place. This was the second best espresso I have ever had! The best I will tell you all about later. His house is a top floor studio Apartment that is party central for Mile End People. Stuart*7 just bought the downstairs which used to be a chicken slaughtering plant, that has a walk in cold storage in it. He is going to turn it into a house / Piercing Salon.
*5 - Tobin is extremely beautiful. He is famous for his cafes in Halifax (his original home) called AND cafe. He is also famous for turning many lesbians straight with his great looks, beautiful soul, and listening ear. Tobin supplied us daily with coffee in Montreal as well as a place to party and do laundry.
Tobin is the my crush of Montreal.
*6 - Epic is Tobin's massive Great Dane. He is the most beautiful dog in the world. Weighing in at 160 pounds he towers over other dogs, and most furniture. He is also extremely well behaved but will not sit. He refuses to sit because he is not neutered and he would have to sit on his gargantuan nuts. This horse I mean dog was offered as a trade for the Van, but due to prior engagements (me needing to fly from Toronto) the offer was refused.
*7 - Stuart is a friend of the Mile End family and will soon live bellow Tobin. He loves kinky stuff, but is underneath it all a romantic lover kinda guy. He is getting over a huge relationship end, but is making it look easy. He is great to talk and drink with.
After meeting Tobin and Epic we spent quite a lot of time at their house including 2 parties (Halloween Prequel and Halloween) and tons of chatting over coffee.
The next adventure of note would be walking The Village with Will. Will and I got off the subway at O'QUAM and walked Saint Catherine's from there. We stopped in all the hot spots and famous destinations. Including costume shops, restaurants, and bars. We spent a lot of time in one Dungeon supply store, which was full of things I have never heard of in all my perverted life. After our long walk we had supper at the gay indian restaurant in the village. It was wonderful.
Adventure 3 and 4 are a little blurred at some points in my mind so I will talk about them as 1 until I feel the need to separate them for specific details. They both started with me doing laundry at Tobin's house in trade for helping him ready his space for a party. The readying consisted of carrying 11 or more 24s from his van to his house, sweeping, doing some dishes, minor carpentry, decorations, and dancing to music. I really enjoyed helping as I got to hang out with fantastic people.
Key: * then a number means I will explain who the person is in a new paragraph matching the number.
Episode 1: Montreal :
First off I would like to ask you all to bare with me. It is 8 in the morning and I'm only on my second coffee. Thanks.
Darcy and I after much preparations left Winnipeg at about 6 pm to start our travels. With us we had a car full of supplies, enough cigarettes to last approximately a full day of driving, and another passenger. This extra passenger was named Althea (Alth-Aye-Ah). She is a friend of Liz (who is Darcy's neighbor) and she needed a ride to Montreal. Perfect! Company, less gas costs, and a warmer sleeping environment.
So off we went with 3 people and a shit load of baggage. Emotional and luggage. We / Darcy drove all night past the ever so beautiful Whiteshell and into the abyss commonly called Ontario. We stopped our nights endless highways at 7 in the morning, an hour outside of Thunder Bay at this beautiful lake and reserve town. We cracked our case of Manitoba's Standard Ale that was strapped to the roof of the Van during the driving. I realized once this case was empty I wouldn't taste that sweet Winnipeg flavor for along time to come. Once half the case was being digested we began to crawl into bed. I don't know how many of you have been in a VW Vanagon Camper, but with two 6'2" + guys and a shorter girl in between, sleeping is an aerobic activity, not a luxury.
We awoke the next morning at about 11 am. After coffee-ing up and getting some Diesel, we were off. Darcy soloed for 7 or so hours until it was dust and he needed a break. Seeing as Althea doesn't have a license or know how to drive I was selected to fill the drivers seat. Now driving isn't my least favourite thing to do, but I would rather have a bike in between my legs. I shifted into first and progressed in speed and gears until I was going 90-100 kmph. I drove for approximately an hour before the anxiety of Semi after Semi blowing me across the highway took hold. I asked Darcy if he could resume driving and he said pull over as soon as you have a chance. Minutes of tension and fighting the wind passed and a place to stop had still not been discovered. Suddenly the wind stopped its torrential battering of the van while I unknowingly continued to correct my steering for it. I began to drift towards the shoulder. This patch of northern highway was salted rather then plowed thus the highway was clear but this shoulder had 4-6 inches of snow along it. As soon as my front right wheel caressed this build-up control was ripped from me.
Now I'm not sure if you have ever crashed a car, but the feeling is like no other. Most people talk of seeing life and death mesh, and flash before their eyes. I would say that time stops, then resumes at an extremely slow pace.
Anywho as I realized I couldn't do anything to fix this situation the back right wheel hit the snow slathered gravel and the back of the car spun around as if it was swinging for a home run. I still gripping the wheel pulled with all my 120 pounds of might to steer away from the impending doom. this furthered the backward spiral of the car. At this time all wheels were past the shoulder and we were in the ditch slowing down rapidly. I jammed on the breaks and stalled the car, halting us instantly and the front left lifted up and up and up and... set back down in place. The only thing I remember happening other then this was the sounds of gravel spitting up, Darcy repeating "Shit, Shit, Daniel, Shit" and the sound of everything in the van flying across the air and hitting the opposite wall.
Everyone was alright, the car was fine, and within seconds 4 cars pulled over to help. A big truck towed us out and we were on our way faster then a pit stop to Tim's for coffee and a washroom break. Needless to say, Darcy resumed driving and I sat in the back shaken and upset.
As the night set in, and the sky grew dark we neared the Quebec border. At about 10 pm Darcy noticed a grouping of red lights a little further up on the highway. Slowing down we approached them. As we closed the distance we realized these were cops. They asked us to pull over for some questions. Darcy unrolled his window, I buckled up, and we prepped for the worst. The cop asked questions and explained that this was a riot check to find illegal hunting. So his questions began as follows.
"Do you have any firearms in this vehicle?" "No"
"Do you have any wildlife or livestock?" "No"
"Open liquor?" "No"
"Is the guy in the back wearing a seatbelt?" "Yes"
As these questions were answered to the officer's liking he noticed the half case of beer on the roof. He asked Darcy to move it into the trunk because it was unsecured and in the reach of the driver. Little did he know that it didn't even shift during my accident. Darcy moved it and we looked around. Eight OPP officers were looking at the van with flashlights. We were given the alright, and we drove away again shaken. Hours later we entered Quebec and camped for the night. The beer was finished supper was made, and sleep ensued.
Halfway through the next day we were in Montreal. Now Montreal is one of my favourite places that I have discovered thus far in my life's journeys. I was glad to arrive. Dropping off Althea we found a place to park our Van / House outside her apartment in the parking-lot of a record label. We were introduced to Chris(*1) and Will(*2).
*1 - Chris is a very beautiful man from Newfoundland who was looking after Althea's place while she was away. He works 20 days on and 10 off in Fort McMurray driving truck for oil rigs. His accent is amazing! The whole three months Althea was away he didn't use one dish, they had dust on them. In 3 months of living there he was there 30 days, and he ate out every one... Different life style.
*2 - Will is amazing! I have never met anyone like him. He is extremely open with his diverse sexuality. He is a starving artist from Halifax, who lives in both cities. He writes and photographs for newspapers and such, but his passion is photography. We got to spend a lot of time together, exploring the village and our pasts. I feel I have a lot in common with him. His age is unknown to me, but I know he remembers things from the 60's. I actually got to do a model photo shoot with him on Halloween.
After meeting these people We slept off our travels. This time it was 2 people in the bed. Much more manageable. Including our arrival day we spent from Monday - Sunday in Montreal. During this time Darcy and I met a lot of amazing people and pets, and had some wicked adventures.
The first adventure was meeting Polish Peter*3 (Piotr) and Althea's dog Alaska*4 who was staying with Peter. It was a simple day of drinking but a wonderful time none the less. La Fin Du Monde, Éphémère, and Polish Vodka.
La Fin Du Monde (The End of the World) and Éphémère (apple beer meaning: lasting shortly) are a product of Unibroue. A micro-brewery in Montreal. Check there amazing products out at your Local LC if available or at (http://www.unibroue.com/english.cfm).
*3 - Peter. Peter is a carpenter from Poland who now lives in Montreal. He is in his 20s and loves to Party. He is also extremely romantic. My favourite! He took care of Alaska while Althea was away and was reluctant to return her. He does Drag for parties, has a spout of blonde long hair on top of his shaved head, and is a great listener. Like most people I met in Montreal he loves his drugs, but he is still a good person.
He taught me one word in Polish and that is "laska". Laska translated means walking cane, but its common usage is as slang to mean beautiful woman.
*4 - Alaska is Althea's beautiful golden dog. She is curb trained and extremely well behaved. Curb training consists of stopping at red lights, and all intersections off leash, following you closely off leash, and waiting outside stored sitting off leash. AMAZING.
Our next adventure was one of meeting Tobin*5 and and Epic*6, and getting coffee at his place. This was the second best espresso I have ever had! The best I will tell you all about later. His house is a top floor studio Apartment that is party central for Mile End People. Stuart*7 just bought the downstairs which used to be a chicken slaughtering plant, that has a walk in cold storage in it. He is going to turn it into a house / Piercing Salon.
*5 - Tobin is extremely beautiful. He is famous for his cafes in Halifax (his original home) called AND cafe. He is also famous for turning many lesbians straight with his great looks, beautiful soul, and listening ear. Tobin supplied us daily with coffee in Montreal as well as a place to party and do laundry.
Tobin is the my crush of Montreal.
*6 - Epic is Tobin's massive Great Dane. He is the most beautiful dog in the world. Weighing in at 160 pounds he towers over other dogs, and most furniture. He is also extremely well behaved but will not sit. He refuses to sit because he is not neutered and he would have to sit on his gargantuan nuts. This horse I mean dog was offered as a trade for the Van, but due to prior engagements (me needing to fly from Toronto) the offer was refused.
*7 - Stuart is a friend of the Mile End family and will soon live bellow Tobin. He loves kinky stuff, but is underneath it all a romantic lover kinda guy. He is getting over a huge relationship end, but is making it look easy. He is great to talk and drink with.
After meeting Tobin and Epic we spent quite a lot of time at their house including 2 parties (Halloween Prequel and Halloween) and tons of chatting over coffee.
The next adventure of note would be walking The Village with Will. Will and I got off the subway at O'QUAM and walked Saint Catherine's from there. We stopped in all the hot spots and famous destinations. Including costume shops, restaurants, and bars. We spent a lot of time in one Dungeon supply store, which was full of things I have never heard of in all my perverted life. After our long walk we had supper at the gay indian restaurant in the village. It was wonderful.
Adventure 3 and 4 are a little blurred at some points in my mind so I will talk about them as 1 until I feel the need to separate them for specific details. They both started with me doing laundry at Tobin's house in trade for helping him ready his space for a party. The readying consisted of carrying 11 or more 24s from his van to his house, sweeping, doing some dishes, minor carpentry, decorations, and dancing to music. I really enjoyed helping as I got to hang out with fantastic people.
The only thing in that time period that differs the two events in my mind is On the 31st of October / Halloween I was a living canvas for a local painter. With this came a modeling photo shoot and a free Halloween costume. These nights were less full of dancing then I expected due to a huge amount of people in one room, and just a general un-comfort being “alone” at a party. Also during one of these nights I had the opportunity to try a Willtini (1 shot of Gin to ½ shot of Sake), and hit up a “queer freaks” party at a club on John Talon.
This sums up my adventures in Wonderland / Montreal.
I miss you all,
Love,
Daniel Silverthorne
Residence: Winnipeg, Montreal, Vanagon, London (and more to come)
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